Yesterday was a hard day. I hate to even say that — I am so very fortunate. I have a snug house to live in. I have water and electricity. I have an agreeable housemate. Andrea and I are still healthy. We have food. We have enough savings to get through this. We don’t have to go out and expose ourselves to the virus. I have nothing to complain about. But I want this blog during this time to be a sort of diary and include the down days with the up ones.
I woke up yesterday worried about my extrovert friends. I enjoy being with people and need that connection, but I also need quiet time by myself to charge my batteries — I’m an introvert. But I know two men who are very much extroverts. They need to be with others the way I need to be alone. They feed on the noise the way I feed on the quiet. They have a real need to help others while I have a tendency to withdraw into myself.
And that set up the day for me to be in a funk. Finally, I went out for a walk to get away from myself and my mood. Someone told me that with the decrease in traffic and air travel, those who under 45 years old have never seen air so clean. I breathed deeply, smelling the clean air. It was wonderful.
While out, I saw some neighbors walking together while staying six feet apart. I stepped to the side to greet them and let them pass.
The unemployment numbers came out yesterday: 3,283,000 new claims — a record. And of course that doesn’t count the people who have lost jobs that didn’t qualify for unemployment benefits.
There was all the chatter about some people calling on us elders to sacrifice our health for the good of the economy. Besides the fact that trusted economists say that would actually make things worse and not better, I notice that most of the calls for sacrifice are coming from men who’ve always led completely selfish lives. My funk deepened.
Then the stock market closed higher, gaining 20% in three days. My funk deepened more. A surge in the unemployed and a surge in the market. What’s wrong with this picture?
I had a relaxed coffee time with our son. We sat in our respective houses and talked on Zoom. It’s not the same as being physically together, but it was really nice to see him as we talked.
Then later we learned that the US is #1 in yet one more thing. We now have more active COVID-19 cases than any other country. And we aren’t even doing a good job testing everyone.
Closer to home, I find Andrea very easy to live with. But it is my contention that no two people can live together without annoying each other from time to time. We can spend long hours together, even weeks together when we go on our roadtrips. But there are little things, insignificant things. I snapped at her about something yesterday. Usually I let those things go. They aren’t important, she is a true gift to me, and she isn’t going to change her habits regardless. And I’m sure there are any number of things I do that annoy her. But I was edgy.
Finally we watched “Swing Time,” which is probably the best of the Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers films. Lots of dancing, singing, fun and romance. We are lucky to be here, to be safe, to have each other, and to be able to let old Hollywood carry us away.
Today I am on a more even keel even though it is raining. We will get through this — at least most of us will.
Blessings to you all.