Life is disrupted. We are told to stay home unless we must go out. Shops and restaurants are closed. Gatherings are discouraged or forbidden. We sit inside, some of us alone.
There are encouraging signs that these restrictions are working. The spread of the virus is slowing, at least where the restrictions are followed. And work continues toward finding a vaccine, or at least a test for the virus antibodies.
We are isolated, waiting.
In the last three weeks over 16 million people are newly unemployed — over 10% of the workforce. In the same time, the stock market has risen over 20%. I thought I understood these things but evidently I don’t. The Fed is printing money like crazy to shore up the corporations, but who will buy their products if the people are destitute?
And while all this is going on, the country I pledged allegiance to and served for over 30 years, which at least aspired to my values, is being dismantled to enrich and consolidate the power of one man.
I’m having a hard time today. Tomorrow will be better. Or different. I’ve been through enough trauma to know that for me these feelings of hope and despair alternate. The glass is never always full nor always empty and good days follow bad.
I have started weaving again. I thought it would relax me. I’ve been putting the warp threads on to prepare for the actual weaving — warping the loom. Yesterday I had to redo one section of heddles three or four times. (I lost count.) I just couldn’t get it right. Perhaps I’m getting old and am losing my ability to think clearly. Probably, though, it is that I haven’t done it in a while and the stress of this time.
Be gentle with yourselves. May your good days be long and your bad days brief.
Kate
Travels with Kate 
I am compulsively making face masks for our community.
Talk about feeling stupid. The first one took me 6 hours and was very taxing.
I “soldiered on” and didn’t give up. I jammed the sewing machine twice, threaded it wrong, and forgot how to wind the bobbin. And I cannot seem to sew a straight line.
I’m doing better now, have an assembly line system of sorts and managed to complete quite a few masks.
I’ve been donating money to underserved workers and groups, but it did not feel like enough. Doing the masks makes me feel like I am doing something more tangible.
I so very privileged. I am trying to acknowledge and pay forward my debt.
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I have a question! Why do we as humans seem to always have to blame someone for what is happening??? What an absolute waste of time!!! Sorry Kate, but I just needed to say this! Your country that you served for 30 years has NOT failed you!!!
I have some experience with Military life and duties although I know very little about a war because that was something my Marine Corps husband did not want to talk about and I didn’t force the issue! I was a wife, when if the Corps had wanted a Marine to have a wife they would have issued him one, and the Corps managed lots of unaccompanied overseas duty in 20 years including 2 tours in VietNam, I had to learn to cope without assistance from the Corps except when those stay at home wives started getting hate calls from joe citizen who did not agree with the war!! PTSD existed back then but nobody really cared or recognized it yet!
I am one of the lucky ones who does not face depression in most cases and certainly not in this one other than my heart and prayers go out to all that have been affected by COVID19 in the form of illness or loss of a family member or dear friend.
Perhaps these comments will help you and if not, I am sorry!!
Best wishes always!!!
BTW thanks Zoe for your talents. I do not have a sewing machine anymore but I do have my masks that I ordered 3 years ago, just because of my hay fever!
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